homes

"sure, no problem, homes. you can call me gooch."

what else do you say to your soon-to-be six year old son who tells you he'd like to be called "homes" from now on.

*still trying to figure out if he means "homes" or "holmes" -- it's a bit of a mystery.
** if you watch scrubs you know who "the gooch" is. i have been trying to get my husband to call me that since that episode aired but it hasn't caught on. maybe now it will.

flop

one dinner from last week was the pioneer woman's chicken pot pie . it was a big flop mostly because it was very, very dry. i did not use wine (which was optional) only because i didn't have any available so that could be part of the reason. i also used 4 celery stalks instead of 2, a whole chicken instead of just 2 cups and i eliminated peas since half of the family doesn't like them...well, there you are, that's the reason it was dry. i guess i'll have to try it again and stick to the exact measurements. it probably would have been okay with more flavor and moisture. i'll play around with it a few more times to see if it gets better. otherwise, i'll just have my husband make his (which is pretty darn good).

food

i'm obsessed with cooking right now. so much so, that i'm thinking of venturing on a project. project 156, to be exact. three dinners each week, cooked by yours truly. let it be known that i'm not a good cook. i'm not a fan of cooking. partly because i hate to follow directions and i don't have the patience to read each step, word by word. partly because i hate math and i hate measuring. and partly because i'm helvetica, boring. i don't really like to try new foods. i would honestly be very satisfied and quite happy eating the same thing every day. but, i'm married to a cook who does like to try new foods and who can never seem to get my food cooked the way i like it, well done and plain jane (but who still makes delicious things all the time and, quite frankly, i'm a little bit jealous...okay, make that competitive). actually, the real problem is that i don't really think about food which is really bad considering i have two kids who need to be fed. my husband, on the other hand, is constantly thinking about food. he wakes up and, before he even eats breakfast, asks what we're having for dinner. then he comes up with an elaborate meal when he very well knows we're on a fairly strict budget. it's maddening. so, i'm taking matters into my own hands and will be cooking (at least) three times a week. my goal is to have dinner prepared and eaten by five pm. can i really do it? we'll soon find out.

in the meantime, i did make sugar cookies from the pioneer woman cookbook. i can't find the recipe online so i'll include it here.

angel sugar cookies
2 large eggs
1 c canola oil
1/2 lb (2 sticks) butter
1 c granulated sugar, plus extra for the tops of the cookies
1 c powdered sugar
1 tsp pure vanilla extract
4 c plus 2 tbsp flour
1 tsp salt
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp cream of tartar

cream eggs, oil, butter, sugars and vanilla, add everything else and mix. refrigerate for 1 hr then spoon onto cookie sheet. smear a dab of butter onto bottom of glass, dip in sugar and then use to flatten the balls of dough. dip and flatten for each cookie. bake 9-11 minutes, makes 18 cookies.

i had some colored sugar that i wanted to get rid of so i used that as decoration instead of white sugar. also, i use a small cookie scoop and i actually ended up with 40 average-sized cookies which was kind of maddening since i just wanted to make a quick, small batch so we wouldn't have loads of leftovers. hmph! it was quick, though. aside from the 1 hr chill time, it only took about 5 minutes to mix it all up. the cookies were good. it's hard to find a good sugar cookie and this one is pretty close to what i like.

i also made pw's baked lemon pasta. super delicious! surprisingly, this pasta is really light which is great. my husband was surprised (you'll find he's always surprised when i do follow directions and make good food). he loved it so much he said i can only make it once every 3-4 weeks...because he could eat it more often than that. i thought it was kind of boring to serve alone so i added a meat (also because my husband loves meat). i don't know what kind of meat it was...i never really pay attention to that stuff, i just buy what looks appealing. my husband (oh man, how many times can i say that tonight?) made some sort of a balsamic reduction which paired well with the pasta. very, very good. i definitely recommend you try this one. i think it would be great without meat, especially if you added fresh veggies to it like tomatoes, zucchini, asparagus or even peas.oh, the best part? it was really, really easy to make (well, except for the reduction...don't even ask me how you do that).

parking lot full

i had high hopes for sunday's service at church. i mean, the instrumental prelude was U2's "pride (in the name of love)" and the closing hymn was "de colores" -- one of my favorite songs ever. instead i was uncomfortable and annoyed because the topic was diversity. don't get me wrong, it's not the topic that's annoying but rather the fact that we're still talking about it. it's 2010 for crap sake. let's jump this hurdle and move on. i felt like leaving but i couldn't get my body to do what my brain was telling it to do. partly because the minister said something that hit home. part of his message stated that whenever people get together, "we leave a piece of us in the parking lot." whether it's race, sexual orientation, political views, economic status, education or something deeper, it often gets left in the car. it's true. very true.

last year i did a read-a-long with brene' brown at ordinary courage. a bunch of us read her book "i thought it was just me (but it isn't)" and listened to her podcasts chapter by chapter. the book is about confronting and overcoming shame (a great read, by the way). i learned so much and i promised to blog about it but i never did because, unfortunately for me, that's the stuff that gets left in the parking lot. part of my stuff in the parking lot is mine, it's my story. the other part of my stuff isn't mine but it's part of my story. my hope is that one day (soon) i'll be able to get rid of that junk in the parking lot. i'll have a big, ol' sale and be done with it. until then, there it sits. what's in your parking lot? is there ever a time when you don't leave anything behind? for me, it's when i am with my husband and my kids. they are my safety net and whether they like it or not, i come with my bags full. very full.

must be a sign

wherever you go, there you are. i think my life is trying to give me some sort of sign and i'm not doing a great job of figuring it out. i saw this lady from across the park and i knew she was headed in my direction. i made the kids give her a hug and pose for a photo. i'm obsessive and i haven't for one second stopped trying to figure this out. free hugs. what's the message? help.

in other news, my perfume samples arrived last week. love. i'm glad i bought the samples because i'm not really a november girl even though i thought i would be since it's my favorite month. nope. i'm more of a gathering apples girl. oh my, i love this scent. LOVE. it's so clean and happy and healthy. i'm going to try one or two more scents before i make my final decision but i'm really partial to the apples.

did i mention that i received the pioneer woman cookbook as a gift? i just love this woman and her story. i have always secretly wished i lived on a great big farm/ranch. seriously. i'm not your typical outdoorsy type and i'm not an animal freak but i love the whole concept of having lots of land, lots of space to roam, lots of quiet,  lots of time, lots of fresh food and lots of hard work. it's never going to happen, though. for one, i have to live thisclose to a police department, fire station and hospital. if there's an emergency, i want help immediately. for two, it's because i'm a big chicken. i am scared of the dark, scared of my shadow, scared of any unfamiliar noise and scared of being alone. if i somehow do end up living on a farm/ranch in the middle of nowhere, believe me, you're comin' with. anyway, pioneer woman kind of fills a void for me. but back to her cookbook. i'm going to say some of the food doesn't interest me but one thing that did? the enchiladas. simple. perfect. enchiladas! i made them and they are delicious! my brother, who wanted to order pizza instead, took a bite and ended up going back for seconds. he said he doesn't even like red enchilada sauce. my husband, who wrinkles his nose at most foods i make, took a bite and ended up having a plate. he even had some lovely, leftover, smoked ribs and delicious, homemade coleslaw as an option but he was very happy with the enchiladas. my son, who freaked out at the "green things" and who pretended to gag with each bite, managed to finish his plate and declared, "mmm, these are really good, mom. you make the best dinners." wow. pioneer woman is a bigger hit than rachel ray. i love how there's a picture for every step...i'm very visual. i have to tell you that my first step looked nothing like it did in the picture but i didn't let that deter me. i also have to tell you that i used pre-shredded cheese (because i hate to shred) and she's kind of right about it not melting pretty. i also used a pampered chef pan which i did not pre-heat so the cooking time actually took closer to an hour versus the 20 minutes it would normally take. they still turned out pretty darn great.

little sunbeam

just when you think your life is a big mess and you're quietly sobbing in the kitchen while preparing dinner, you feel these little arms wrap around you and a sweet, sweet voice say, "i'm sorry you didn't get that job, mom." and then you remember that your kids are like little sunbeams who can brighten your day in seconds. and you know, you really know, that everything is going to be all right.

i didn't get that job, the job i didn't tell you about because i am incredibly superstitious. i also didn't get the one i interviewed for. in fact, i'm pretty sure my career is over. at thirty-five. i had a bit of meltdown this week and my LaRue (my sweet son) made it all better. i'm not even sure how he knew i was having a meltdown. i don't recall talking about not getting that job or about any other issue i was having. somehow he knew and he knew i needed a hug. my little sunbeam.

my husband also deserves a little credit this week. he listened ever-so-patiently while i cried out all these insane thoughts i have been holding in...thoughts you really wouldn't want anyone to hear for fear they'd label you c r a z y. i wasn't planning on telling him but it all just came pouring out so fast there wasn't any way to stop myself. i had to gulp for air when i was done. he listened, held me and did his best to make it all better. and, i am better. and, he doesn't think i'm crazy (although he does think i should probably see my therapist).

they say you can't choose your family but i am thankful most of us can choose our spouse. and we can choose, one way or another, to have kids. even though we've had plenty of downs, i am certain i chose right. i wouldn't change a thing, not one thing. this must be love.

this is how we roll

it's easy to spot my son and me at church. he's the one in the this is how i roll t-shirt with unmatched, wrinkled shorts that have at least one pocket hanging out. he's also the kid who is balancing six cookies on his little napkin during the after-service social hour. i'm the one in my sunday-best jeans that are really my only-pair-that-fit jeans so you might see me in them a lot. i'm also the one with the eighties band hair. yes, you probably saw me drying my hair out the window on the freeway because i needed a few extra minutes to sleep in. and yes, this was probably the day you ran into me because that's just my luck. thank you for not even noticing.